ReikiSanctuary

No Expiry Date

Recently, I was asked to mediate a relationship with a goal to meet on a respectable level field and for a story to be told, to be listened to and to be heard.  It was about finding a worthy opportunity for settlement, for an amicable reconciliation, and for everything considerate to gain.  For a renewed commitment to bridge differences and to stay true, in all its tenderness and care, to each of the parties involved and for each other.  Mediation is a conviction filled with deserving worth, merit and value and never a sign of weakness for any couple who seeks the beauty and essence of a good relationship to become stronger and healthier.

A failed relationship can often end, without having desirable and positive qualities, into a state of no man's land between the traumatic life events of every man.  Worse, when a couple living under one roof is no longer able to maintain connections.  Or, when a couple insists each of his/her own way is the right one, making a determined belief for and on his/her rights, and closed all forms of communication.
 
Relationship presents complex dynamics and, often, it is common for conflicts to happen.  The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of the people.  We cannot control the way a partner acts but we can control how we react to a situation.  It takes a lifetime for a person to know his partner and no one should fool himself to claim otherwise.  It can only bring about disharmony when one starts to think that he knows another too well.

By the same dogma, if we could all become a better story teller, it would be easier to know ourselves and also share our ideas.  Fact is, we are constantly the strangers to ourselves.  There would always be surprises at what we know [or don't] about our own strengths and weaknesses and how we react differently towards them everytime everyday.  How then could it be a right thing for each one of us to say that we can fully understand another person well?  We don't even know how, at most time and at every twist of life, to take care of ourselves and to achieve tranquility to the stormy present.

The mediation is a  shower of blessing to my energy.  The session reminds me of the book, Brida by Paulo Coelho.  It takes me into a forgotten, perhaps a granted, dimension about the beauty of life.  In the book, Paulo wrote "In his or her life, each person can take one of two attitudes: to build or to plant.  Builders may take years over their tasks, but one day they will finish what they are doing.  Then they will stop, hemmed in by their own walls.  Life becomes meaningless once the building is finished.  Those who plant suffer the storms and the seasons and rarely rest.  Unlike a building, a garden never stops growing.  And by its constant demands on the gardener’s attention, it makes the gardener’s life a great adventure.”

I feel blessed as it involves two individuals, that I have known for such a long time and for them to have been in a relationship spanning almost 40 years, to give me the opportunity to recognize love.  Bless as the mediation is about us taking a walk together from the visible world over into the invisible and to learn lessons of both those worlds.  It is about cementing true friendship and to bring about renewed life cycle to people who I care so much.  Bless as it is a heartwarming eye opener to the karmic connection of soul mate.

The mediation awakens the spiritual consciousness about acceptance.  It nourishes my soul to the acts of letting go and to accept what is Just-Is.  It makes me human and to realize the joy in soul mate.  About what life is and how it brings people together for a greater lesson for each other.  About love that has no expiry date.  That love conquers it all.  That love forgives.  About a great relationship that holds all the lessons about growth, about acceptance, about forgiveness, and the realization and desire to re-learn what had been forgotten.  All in the name of respect to be earned and for love to bear no expiry date.

Maintaining a good and strong relationship requires a lot of effort, sincerity and dedication.  It requires understanding and a capacity to forgive.  It is also important to remember, that even when a relationship is going well and smooth, it should never be taken for granted, soul mate or otherwise.

Every relationship is unique, complex and multi-dimensional.  We have our own way of understanding and feeling.  We build a relationship and unconsciously put ourselves to the hands of our loved ones in the hope that the relationship will provide our happiness.  Over time, we even expect that our partner is supposed to know exactly what, when and how to provide this happiness.  Unknowingly, we become completely ignorant of the the function of a relationship that is supposed to make one feels complete.  Happiness is only a by product and is still our responsibility to bear. 

A relationship can be a great way to have fun and create a special bond.  It is a great opportunity to learn a lot about oneself and the one we care for.  The fundamental thing in maintaining a healthy relationship is the ability of partners to listen.  When we are able to listen to another person, we are given a chance to understand deeper about him/her.  In its turn, it makes our partner feels that he/she is worthy of being listened to.  Trust increases the value of any relationship.

It is very important, from the very beginning, to talk to each other.  To nurture each other and give each other, in all fields, the support.  Keeping the line of communication opens and to share about everyday happenings in life, share opinions, thought and feelings will open the door to know each other much better and get to know of each other's likes and dislikes.  It is only then that trust sanctifies this relationship.

Relationship is meant to give us the parts that we can never have on our own.  It is about finding the missing part, about furnishing the yin to the yang.  That completeness, over the time discovering one another through a relationship, makes our world go round.  It makes an individual to feel that he/she is capable of anything.

A relationship does not mean that partners never argue or disagree about anything.  It is always good to remind ourselves that we are still imperfect, even when we have found someone to love or  experiencing an intensed incarnated love attachment with a soul mate .  We are just humans who have our ups and downs.  We have our own ideas about tastes in food, about how we eat, about the musics and movies we listen and watch, about the words and languages we speak, about what we wear or just about visiting or not visiting friends and families in the weekend.

Soul mates are no difference and they themselves can be easily be victims to conflicts.  Their destiny lies with their particular lessons that have to be learned before the next spiritual level, or dimension, is reached.  Soul mates fall in love, again and again, to define for particular type of relationship that is chosen to achieve it.  It entails a realization and heightened awareness to let each one of them to grow spiritually and emotionally.

It is a written belief that there is, at least, one ideal soul mate for everyone and when we could just find each other, we would live together forever in bliss.  Most people can have several soul mates to compliment in one lifetime and the older a soul is, the more they have.  It is documented, through many works on past life regression and the many articles on soul mate, that we all have another half, and more, and we are not complete until we are united with that person. 

One soul mate may come into a relationship to teach his/her partner about strength.  While another might teach about compassion.  All the learnng process in relationships involves trials and errors before the necessary growth.  For development and evolution to complete, consciousness plays a large content of aspects.  The energy bond between soul mates will always find its way to teach each other new lessons.

The key to maintain a stronger and healthier relationship, however, is not to copy each other but to allow all the parties to feel good about who they are.  Honesty should not be under-rated and doubts must not come in between.  Generally, people just hate to be doubted.  As soon as it happens, any relationship can go down in an instant. 

Promises, when they are made, are to be honored and not conveniently said to be forgotten.  Words provide the energy to bond the relationship stronger.  Be committed to the words we relay to our partners.  The more we talk about our joy and pride, fears and problems to each other, the easier the karmic connections shall become.  It is essential to realize that learning about how to work things out together is a key to a blissful relationship.

We must constantly remind ourselves not to try to change our partner.  To be in a relationship where one just lives with a hope that another will change is unhealthy.  As humans, we will just get disappointed waiting for someone to change, while the other will get upset not being accepted for who they are.

The value of a good relationship is priceless. Even more so when we are in a relationship with our soul mate.  When it has come, we just need to embrace the relationship, nurture it and savour it and try to maintain by all possible means.

In Brida, Paulo Coelho said "true love allows each person to follow his or her own path, aware that doing so can never drive them apart'.  Love with no expiry date is "when you find your way you cannot be scared.  You need to be brave enough to take wrong steps.  The deceptions, failures, lack of enthusiasm, are tools that God places in our way to reveal the path'.

"The path to wisdom is not being afraid to make mistakes" he said.  Life is, and will be, beautiful "every time you wish something, keep your eyes wide open, focus and know exactly what you want.  No one hits the target with eyes closed".

That is what a relationship should be about.  Not the transient feeling of happiness but the realization that we, as imperfect individual, can create a beautiful, if not perfect whole.  Whether we choose to find happiness from there, is still our choice, but it is not going to be something given to us when we find someone we love.  It has always been, and should be, something we create.

A happy relationship is only true when happiness is shared.

Quotes from Brida, a Paulo Coelho novel:

"But how will I know who my Soulmate is?"
"By taking risks," Wicca said to Brida.
"By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search of love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end"

I guess the triumphant of love - one that is written with no expiry date, with soul mates are when all things click and when hearts keep coming back to each other even after the worst case scenario.

No Expiry Date

Recently, I was asked to mediate a relationship with a goal to meet on a respectable level field and for a story to be told, to be listened to and to be heard.  It was about finding a worthy opportunity for settlement, for an amicable reconciliation, and for everything considerate to gain.  For a renewed commitment to bridge differences and to stay true, in all its tenderness and care, to each of the parties involved and for each other.  Mediation is a conviction filled with deserving worth, merit and value and never a sign of weakness for any couple who seeks the beauty and essence of a good relationship to become stronger and healthier.

A failed relationship can often end, without having desirable and positive qualities, into a state of no man's land between the traumatic life events of every man.  Worse, when a couple living under one roof is no longer able to maintain connections.  Or, when a couple insists each of his/her own way is the right one, making a determined belief for and on his/her rights, and closed all forms of communication.
 
Relationship presents complex dynamics and, often, it is common for conflicts to happen.  The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of the people.  We cannot control the way a partner acts but we can control how we react to a situation.  It takes a lifetime for a person to know his partner and no one should fool himself to claim otherwise.  It can only bring about disharmony when one starts to think that he knows another too well.

By the same dogma, if we could all become a better story teller, it would be easier to know ourselves and also share our ideas.  Fact is, we are constantly the strangers to ourselves.  There would always be surprises at what we know [or don't] about our own strengths and weaknesses and how we react differently towards them everytime everyday.  How then could it be a right thing for each one of us to say that we can fully understand another person well?  We don't even know how, at most time and at every twist of life, to take care of ourselves and to achieve tranquility to the stormy present.

The mediation is a  shower of blessing to my energy.  The session reminds me of the book, Brida by Paulo Coelho.  It takes me into a forgotten, perhaps a granted, dimension about the beauty of life.  In the book, Paulo wrote "In his or her life, each person can take one of two attitudes: to build or to plant.  Builders may take years over their tasks, but one day they will finish what they are doing.  Then they will stop, hemmed in by their own walls.  Life becomes meaningless once the building is finished.  Those who plant suffer the storms and the seasons and rarely rest.  Unlike a building, a garden never stops growing.  And by its constant demands on the gardener’s attention, it makes the gardener’s life a great adventure.”

I feel blessed as it involves two individuals, that I have known for such a long time and for them to have been in a relationship spanning almost 40 years, to give me the opportunity to recognize love.  Bless as the mediation is about us taking a walk together from the visible world over into the invisible and to learn lessons of both those worlds.  It is about cementing true friendship and to bring about renewed life cycle to people who I care so much.  Bless as it is a heartwarming eye opener to the karmic connection of soul mate.

The mediation awakens the spiritual consciousness about acceptance.  It nourishes my soul to the acts of letting go and to accept what is Just-Is.  It makes me human and to realize the joy in soul mate.  About what life is and how it brings people together for a greater lesson for each other.  About love that has no expiry date.  That love conquers it all.  That love forgives.  About a great relationship that holds all the lessons about growth, about acceptance, about forgiveness, and the realization and desire to re-learn what had been forgotten.  All in the name of respect to be earned and for love to bear no expiry date.

Maintaining a good and strong relationship requires a lot of effort, sincerity and dedication.  It requires understanding and a capacity to forgive.  It is also important to remember, that even when a relationship is going well and smooth, it should never be taken for granted, soul mate or otherwise.

Every relationship is unique, complex and multi-dimensional.  We have our own way of understanding and feeling.  We build a relationship and unconsciously put ourselves to the hands of our loved ones in the hope that the relationship will provide our happiness.  Over time, we even expect that our partner is supposed to know exactly what, when and how to provide this happiness.  Unknowingly, we become completely ignorant of the the function of a relationship that is supposed to make one feels complete.  Happiness is only a by product and is still our responsibility to bear. 

A relationship can be a great way to have fun and create a special bond.  It is a great opportunity to learn a lot about oneself and the one we care for.  The fundamental thing in maintaining a healthy relationship is the ability of partners to listen.  When we are able to listen to another person, we are given a chance to understand deeper about him/her.  In its turn, it makes our partner feels that he/she is worthy of being listened to.  Trust increases the value of any relationship.

It is very important, from the very beginning, to talk to each other.  To nurture each other and give each other, in all fields, the support.  Keeping the line of communication opens and to share about everyday happenings in life, share opinions, thought and feelings will open the door to know each other much better and get to know of each other's likes and dislikes.  It is only then that trust sanctifies this relationship.

Relationship is meant to give us the parts that we can never have on our own.  It is about finding the missing part, about furnishing the yin to the yang.  That completeness, over the time discovering one another through a relationship, makes our world go round.  It makes an individual to feel that he/she is capable of anything.

A relationship does not mean that partners never argue or disagree about anything.  It is always good to remind ourselves that we are still imperfect, even when we have found someone to love or  experiencing an intensed incarnated love attachment with a soul mate .  We are just humans who have our ups and downs.  We have our own ideas about tastes in food, about how we eat, about the musics and movies we listen and watch, about the words and languages we speak, about what we wear or just about visiting or not visiting friends and families in the weekend.

Soul mates are no difference and they themselves can be easily be victims to conflicts.  Their destiny lies with their particular lessons that have to be learned before the next spiritual level, or dimension, is reached.  Soul mates fall in love, again and again, to define for particular type of relationship that is chosen to achieve it.  It entails a realization and heightened awareness to let each one of them to grow spiritually and emotionally.

It is a written belief that there is, at least, one ideal soul mate for everyone and when we could just find each other, we would live together forever in bliss.  Most people can have several soul mates to compliment in one lifetime and the older a soul is, the more they have.  It is documented, through many works on past life regression and the many articles on soul mate, that we all have another half, and more, and we are not complete until we are united with that person. 

One soul mate may come into a relationship to teach his/her partner about strength.  While another might teach about compassion.  All the learnng process in relationships involves trials and errors before the necessary growth.  For development and evolution to complete, consciousness plays a large content of aspects.  The energy bond between soul mates will always find its way to teach each other new lessons.

The key to maintain a stronger and healthier relationship, however, is not to copy each other but to allow all the parties to feel good about who they are.  Honesty should not be under-rated and doubts must not come in between.  Generally, people just hate to be doubted.  As soon as it happens, any relationship can go down in an instant. 

Promises, when they are made, are to be honored and not conveniently said to be forgotten.  Words provide the energy to bond the relationship stronger.  Be committed to the words we relay to our partners.  The more we talk about our joy and pride, fears and problems to each other, the easier the karmic connections shall become.  It is essential to realize that learning about how to work things out together is a key to a blissful relationship.

We must constantly remind ourselves not to try to change our partner.  To be in a relationship where one just lives with a hope that another will change is unhealthy.  As humans, we will just get disappointed waiting for someone to change, while the other will get upset not being accepted for who they are.

The value of a good relationship is priceless. Even more so when we are in a relationship with our soul mate.  When it has come, we just need to embrace the relationship, nurture it and savour it and try to maintain by all possible means.

In Brida, Paulo Coelho said "true love allows each person to follow his or her own path, aware that doing so can never drive them apart'.  Love with no expiry date is "when you find your way you cannot be scared.  You need to be brave enough to take wrong steps.  The deceptions, failures, lack of enthusiasm, are tools that God places in our way to reveal the path'.

"The path to wisdom is not being afraid to make mistakes" he said.  Life is, and will be, beautiful "every time you wish something, keep your eyes wide open, focus and know exactly what you want.  No one hits the target with eyes closed".

That is what a relationship should be about.  Not the transient feeling of happiness but the realization that we, as imperfect individual, can create a beautiful, if not perfect whole.  Whether we choose to find happiness from there, is still our choice, but it is not going to be something given to us when we find someone we love.  It has always been, and should be, something we create.

A happy relationship is only true when happiness is shared.

Quotes from Brida, a Paulo Coelho novel:

"But how will I know who my Soulmate is?"
"By taking risks," Wicca said to Brida.
"By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search of love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end"

I guess the triumphant of love - one that is written with no expiry date, with soul mates are when all things click and when hearts keep coming back to each other even after the worst case scenario.

A Year Has Passed: Ruby, The Little Precious Angel

Song From A Secret Garden

Secret Garden

Ruby

One year ago, on this day, you walked over to the Rainbow Bridge.  Not a day goes by, dearest darling Ruby, that we do not think of you.  We think of you everyday.  How you could make us laugh.  How you could light our days.

It has been a year today.  We miss you just as much now as we did the day you went.  We miss your sweet little face and all your loving dispositions.  We miss hearing you give us whines and your happy bark.

Our heart still aches and words just cannot describe the pain.  As we sit here and writing this, our tears are present.  We still miss you so very very much.

Ruby

We still remember that last loving look in your face when we left you at the clinic.  You, somewhat, in your ever gentle eyes told us that everything would be alright.  That you would be at a better place.  That all your pains would no longer inflict sufferings on your earthly body.  That you will be healthy once again.  That you shall never suffer again.

There is just no explaining our failures to understand your problem and to give you the comfort when you needed it so desperately.  Our heart learns, as we remember this day, that God gives us the only perfect gift, the pure and innocent perfect little angel that is incapable of hate and only full of unconditional love.  We learn what the sanctity of life is about and what love means to be.

You, dearest darling Ruby, are our baby.  Our little loving girl, our best friend and our heart  You are our soulmate forever.  You came into our life as a gift from God for a reason.  That is, you are to teach us how to love.

You will always be precious to us.  We are blessed to have spent nine years of our life with you.  Today, as you are dearly remembered, we know that you are in the arms of God.  In his light, you are home.

Our prayers, for you, will never stop.  Our love, for you, will never perish.  You were truly so unique and special.

Our heart is still so broken without you.  We miss you so bad.  You left with a part of us.  In return, we will always have a part of you, forever and a day.

We love you dearly, Ruby.  We pray that you are running through the fields of flowers and basking in the heavenly sunshine, free of pain.

Ruby at 9 Years Old

"May You Rest In Peace"

A Year Has Passed: Ruby, The Little Precious Angel

Song From A Secret Garden

Secret Garden

Ruby

One year ago, on this day, you walked over to the Rainbow Bridge.  Not a day goes by, dearest darling Ruby, that we do not think of you.  We think of you everyday.  How you could make us laugh.  How you could light our days.

It has been a year today.  We miss you just as much now as we did the day you went.  We miss your sweet little face and all your loving dispositions.  We miss hearing you give us whines and your happy bark.

Our heart still aches and words just cannot describe the pain.  As we sit here and writing this, our tears are present.  We still miss you so very very much.

Ruby

We still remember that last loving look in your face when we left you at the clinic.  You, somewhat, in your ever gentle eyes told us that everything would be alright.  That you would be at a better place.  That all your pains would no longer inflict sufferings on your earthly body.  That you will be healthy once again.  That you shall never suffer again.

There is just no explaining our failures to understand your problem and to give you the comfort when you needed it so desperately.  Our heart learns, as we remember this day, that God gives us the only perfect gift, the pure and innocent perfect little angel that is incapable of hate and only full of unconditional love.  We learn what the sanctity of life is about and what love means to be.

You, dearest darling Ruby, are our baby.  Our little loving girl, our best friend and our heart  You are our soulmate forever.  You came into our life as a gift from God for a reason.  That is, you are to teach us how to love.

You will always be precious to us.  We are blessed to have spent nine years of our life with you.  Today, as you are dearly remembered, we know that you are in the arms of God.  In his light, you are home.

Our prayers, for you, will never stop.  Our love, for you, will never perish.  You were truly so unique and special.

Our heart is still so broken without you.  We miss you so bad.  You left with a part of us.  In return, we will always have a part of you, forever and a day.

We love you dearly, Ruby.  We pray that you are running through the fields of flowers and basking in the heavenly sunshine, free of pain.

Ruby at 9 Years Old

"May You Rest In Peace"

In Good Faith

This is for a friend, Dan.

Hope and Reality - I am often awed and bemused between these two words.  Between its ultimate unity and meaning and the co-relation of the words, it involves a maze of confusing pathways.  Very often, there are questions that challenge our faith. Does having hope necessarily bring about purpose in real life?  Will it make acceptance any easier for that so-called the easy life?  Is hope a driving force for a greater accomplishment?

I have always thought that life should be meaningful.  Life is so much easier when we stop resisting it.  True, it is not exactly to be for every moment every day but to get on the path of a meaningful life, we just need to live our life with intentions.  We need to embrace and honour what shows up.  Life itself, with all what it carries of good and bad, bitter and sweet is worth living for.  Every moment, there is always something to experience, to learn and to give.

Mostly, we live to find answers to refine our ideas about God, about heaven, about love, about the world in which we find ourselves, about our own hidden ambitions, and other profound matters.  There are myriads of thought processes in a single minute.  The countless number of questions can seem a struggle, a battle and a tough road until we discover the peace resulting from its total acceptance.  Often, we are asked to open our hearts, to use the mind to search for meaning and purpose in this world we are in and to seek self awareness.

At the end of the day, we may ask what is it all for?  One of the hardest thing we have to do is to find acceptance.  Until we are able to accept a person, a situation, a place or a thing as being exactly the way it is supposed to be that we, truly, will find serenity.  We yearn and actively strive to be happy and to live a fulfilled life.  Yet, we often find it hard to accept that nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our life is by mistake.  When we sooner realize every life experience has a purpose - that it has to happen for a reason, even if it is beyond our knowing, helps pave the way to peaceful acceptance.  We arrive at some form of purpose.

It is said that when we do nothing, we feel overwhelmed and powerless.  But, when we get involved, we feel the sense of hope and accomplishment.  Yes, once we choose to hope for something, anything is possible.  With hope, the unverse always win so long there is love.

Everything has it's time.  We just have to learn the rules of the universe first.  Love comes to those who still believe in hope even though they have been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they have been betrayed, to those who still love even though they have been hurt before.

Everyday, we wake up to look forward to something, to wish for something, all in confidence in the possibility of its fulfilment.  This optimistic feeling of hopefulness hinges everything to what life is all about.  To which, life should prevail.  Whatever we think, or say or do, on purpose stay with us; it may be good or bad.

Hope can be, as in the proverb, a good breakfast but can turn out to be a bad supper.  When hope is lost, nothing remains.  Nonetheless, there must be a higher purpose than this, for a real reason to our existence.  A good breakfast is when we create the reality from beginning to the end, with faith that it provides nourishment and an integration for the soul and mind.  This includes the single unit coherent to purpose and for a reality to be what it is that we had hoped for.  We will find that a life of love and usefulness gives us a deep sense of purpose that result in further fulfilment.

It is always an easy thing to say, 'Let's hope for ...' but why do it, sometimes, got to end with a bad reality?  How can we reconcile such occurence with our everyday experience in which we live?  In our human relationships, we know how wonderful to hope for our love for someone is freely returned - not because they have to love us but because they want to love us.

Bad things happen.  We just hope that they don't.  To love someone and leaving him the freedom to respond, or not, is a risk and can be a potentially painful reality.  This is why hope and reality need to have an image and likeness in the same purpose - all in good faith.

To begin the journey toward peaceful reality, try letting go of analyzing or attempting to 'figure out' the 'why's' of the situation.  We should continue to hope and cannot force for all realities to accord to our life's terms.  Our lesson in life usually begins with a door closing to let us enter into an uncomfortable period.  This is the hard period.

Reality may, at times, confuse our senses.  What if reality is not quite so real?  Worse, what is real can be a different matter than the actual circumstances we perceive.  Perhaps, reality is just a concept because we want to know whether we should take life seriously.

The only reason we often ask ourselves, "Is this all real?" is because we want to know.  We want to be kind to ourselves to build the foundation of a life well-lived and build bridges to a meditated future.  It is the natural thing as we are always so afraid to get disappointed, to be hurt.  Endeavoring to accept everything in our life as it is now, does not mean we ignore our hope for a future factual and symbolic reality.

Dan, I believe only when you are able to identify your needs that you will be able to take delight in your hope for happiness.  In your hope to have a freely returned relationship.  You partner, though not perfect too, is somewhat living in his reality.  Acceptance is the beginning, the starting point for creating a different outcome.  Acceptance of what is will allow you to take responsibility for your circumstances.

My question to you is, has everything that you hoped for, you believed to be true, created the reality?  You are indeed wise to take your time now to evaluate what you believe and to make some changes.  I can only hope that, every night before going to sleep, call to mind all the things in your life which bring a feeling that is true to your heart.  When you still love your partner, accept it.  Then move to other blessings in your life.  Allow yourself to bring a feeling of gratitude.

Shorten the misery - this feeling of helplessness or hopelessness will not shift your energy into feeling comfort and peace when you keep fighting against your heart's desire.

Think about what you want to think, feel, have and be, Dan.  It is a hope for greater things, for your hope to match the reality.  I can only pray for the divine spark to knock on the door of your heart, for your hope to discover the real fulfillment.  Real life is a life filled with fulfillment, acceptance and purpose.  I am sure you can find it in your relationship with your partner but only when you can find it within yourself first.  You cannot give away what you don't hold in the first place.

Hehe, it is not, as though, that your partner has found someone new.  And that, my dear friend, is a totally different thing.  Totally a different pain, a different hurt.

In Good Faith

This is for a friend, Dan.

Hope and Reality - I am often awed and bemused between these two words.  Between its ultimate unity and meaning and the co-relation of the words, it involves a maze of confusing pathways.  Very often, there are questions that challenge our faith. Does having hope necessarily bring about purpose in real life?  Will it make acceptance any easier for that so-called the easy life?  Is hope a driving force for a greater accomplishment?

I have always thought that life should be meaningful.  Life is so much easier when we stop resisting it.  True, it is not exactly to be for every moment every day but to get on the path of a meaningful life, we just need to live our life with intentions.  We need to embrace and honour what shows up.  Life itself, with all what it carries of good and bad, bitter and sweet is worth living for.  Every moment, there is always something to experience, to learn and to give.

Mostly, we live to find answers to refine our ideas about God, about heaven, about love, about the world in which we find ourselves, about our own hidden ambitions, and other profound matters.  There are myriads of thought processes in a single minute.  The countless number of questions can seem a struggle, a battle and a tough road until we discover the peace resulting from its total acceptance.  Often, we are asked to open our hearts, to use the mind to search for meaning and purpose in this world we are in and to seek self awareness.

At the end of the day, we may ask what is it all for?  One of the hardest thing we have to do is to find acceptance.  Until we are able to accept a person, a situation, a place or a thing as being exactly the way it is supposed to be that we, truly, will find serenity.  We yearn and actively strive to be happy and to live a fulfilled life.  Yet, we often find it hard to accept that nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our life is by mistake.  When we sooner realize every life experience has a purpose - that it has to happen for a reason, even if it is beyond our knowing, helps pave the way to peaceful acceptance.  We arrive at some form of purpose.

It is said that when we do nothing, we feel overwhelmed and powerless.  But, when we get involved, we feel the sense of hope and accomplishment.  Yes, once we choose to hope for something, anything is possible.  With hope, the unverse always win so long there is love.

Everything has it's time.  We just have to learn the rules of the universe first.  Love comes to those who still believe in hope even though they have been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they have been betrayed, to those who still love even though they have been hurt before.

Everyday, we wake up to look forward to something, to wish for something, all in confidence in the possibility of its fulfilment.  This optimistic feeling of hopefulness hinges everything to what life is all about.  To which, life should prevail.  Whatever we think, or say or do, on purpose stay with us; it may be good or bad.

Hope can be, as in the proverb, a good breakfast but can turn out to be a bad supper.  When hope is lost, nothing remains.  Nonetheless, there must be a higher purpose than this, for a real reason to our existence.  A good breakfast is when we create the reality from beginning to the end, with faith that it provides nourishment and an integration for the soul and mind.  This includes the single unit coherent to purpose and for a reality to be what it is that we had hoped for.  We will find that a life of love and usefulness gives us a deep sense of purpose that result in further fulfilment.

It is always an easy thing to say, 'Let's hope for ...' but why do it, sometimes, got to end with a bad reality?  How can we reconcile such occurence with our everyday experience in which we live?  In our human relationships, we know how wonderful to hope for our love for someone is freely returned - not because they have to love us but because they want to love us.

Bad things happen.  We just hope that they don't.  To love someone and leaving him the freedom to respond, or not, is a risk and can be a potentially painful reality.  This is why hope and reality need to have an image and likeness in the same purpose - all in good faith.

To begin the journey toward peaceful reality, try letting go of analyzing or attempting to 'figure out' the 'why's' of the situation.  We should continue to hope and cannot force for all realities to accord to our life's terms.  Our lesson in life usually begins with a door closing to let us enter into an uncomfortable period.  This is the hard period.

Reality may, at times, confuse our senses.  What if reality is not quite so real?  Worse, what is real can be a different matter than the actual circumstances we perceive.  Perhaps, reality is just a concept because we want to know whether we should take life seriously.

The only reason we often ask ourselves, "Is this all real?" is because we want to know.  We want to be kind to ourselves to build the foundation of a life well-lived and build bridges to a meditated future.  It is the natural thing as we are always so afraid to get disappointed, to be hurt.  Endeavoring to accept everything in our life as it is now, does not mean we ignore our hope for a future factual and symbolic reality.

Dan, I believe only when you are able to identify your needs that you will be able to take delight in your hope for happiness.  In your hope to have a freely returned relationship.  You partner, though not perfect too, is somewhat living in his reality.  Acceptance is the beginning, the starting point for creating a different outcome.  Acceptance of what is will allow you to take responsibility for your circumstances.

My question to you is, has everything that you hoped for, you believed to be true, created the reality?  You are indeed wise to take your time now to evaluate what you believe and to make some changes.  I can only hope that, every night before going to sleep, call to mind all the things in your life which bring a feeling that is true to your heart.  When you still love your partner, accept it.  Then move to other blessings in your life.  Allow yourself to bring a feeling of gratitude.

Shorten the misery - this feeling of helplessness or hopelessness will not shift your energy into feeling comfort and peace when you keep fighting against your heart's desire.

Think about what you want to think, feel, have and be, Dan.  It is a hope for greater things, for your hope to match the reality.  I can only pray for the divine spark to knock on the door of your heart, for your hope to discover the real fulfillment.  Real life is a life filled with fulfillment, acceptance and purpose.  I am sure you can find it in your relationship with your partner but only when you can find it within yourself first.  You cannot give away what you don't hold in the first place.

Hehe, it is not, as though, that your partner has found someone new.  And that, my dear friend, is a totally different thing.  Totally a different pain, a different hurt.

Walking On Thin Line

At the time of this writing, at the time when there are just so much thoughts drum in my head and so many mixed emotions surfacing, the phrase 'But talk comes so easy when life's at its best' [from the song God Of The Mountain By Lynda Randle] echoes tumultuously into my conscience.  I am allowing the inclination to take place, allowing the drift, for I am not sure where this writing is going to take me.  I know this concept may seem a bit weird.  What holds in my mind to write and encourage two friends, who are facing with some difficulties in their lives now, I am stuck in my own personal emotional conflict.

Perhaps, the song that is being played in my mind has such a strong positive influence.  It refrains me from commenting anything negative.  I am having such a strange heart palpitations.  I am finding it hard to say what is in my heart.  It is hard to be writing about the harsh reality of trials and temptations we face in life.  All that I know, this writing wraps itself with an emotional turmoil in which the entire universe shines.  That which, by itself, shines everywhere the sparkling light of prayers and empathy.

My tears flow at where you both are, my dear ones.  My steps are, probably, as shaken as yours.  For the two of you - Sam and Jana, you are in my prayers.

The phrase from the song challenges my conviction to life.  I wonder will I be reacting differently when life is not at its best?  Will talk come just as easy?  How would I react should I be at the far end of doubts?  Should I be in your situation now, should we swap places, and that each one of you comes to shine the sparkling light to me, would the talk come easy?

It is not about where I am today.  Nor it is about a regained act freeing the self from my mundane portrayal of my ordinary life.  I have always been a thinker rather than a fighter.  I have been taught that faith would always win over strength.  I often feel, though it can fail at times, that it is always good to be a thinker as it has served me well.  Perhaps, the reason why it paves the way for my mind to be hearing those phrase is to transcend time and space and, thereby, merging into consciousness.

There is always an ultimate unity of word and meaning.  Consciousness leads to awareness only when we can master our thinking to master our life.  Words are charged with energy and it is just a matter of understanding what we put in to determine what comes out.  Napoleon Hill, in his book 'Think and Grow Rich' said, "whatever the mind can conceive and believe; the mind can achieve".

Since the beginning of this year, I have been having fleeting glimpse of emotions that is primarily outside my being.  I am not able to offer a more refined and complete account of this emotional experience but, somehow, it entails an unstructured and unfiltered awareness of the true nature of reality.  These emotions and feelings are usually evoked by someone or by accompanying situations.

Earlier this year, I shared with some friends of an uncontrolled and non-related sorrow inside me.  It affected me in some strange ways.  Flashes of disasters, of great pains, of sorrows, of a big earthquake - all that is beyond me, all that is outside me, taunted in my head. 

My mind is like a humming beehive assailed by a multitude of diverse thoughts.  It is buzzing and repeating, over and over again, resounding the cries for an absolute truth to life.  No, it is not about universal truth for the existence of God but for a true reality to comfort the period of uncertainties in everyone's life.  For those, facing an issue or in between a multiple precarious life solutions, to hold a view to believe that everything is relative to something else - for deciding an action that is positive or negative, right or wrong - measure up to determine a safe and secured sustainability.

Everything, is said, to happen for a [good] reason.  But, what might be 'right' for me does not mean it is 'right' for you.  What on the surface that this relativism seems to be appealing, everybody sets his own rules to live by and does what he thinks is right.  Inevitably, a person's sense of right will soon clash with another.  Perhaps, it is because we have different set of goals in life, changeable at any given point in time.  Our basic needs and need levels are never constant.  This is exactly why sociology and psychology have always been such a hard topic.  We react differently to various situations, to different things.  Even to the very same situation, there are different reactions. 

We are all brought up differently with vast arrays of colourful past experiences.  Our thought patterns, coupled with personal principles of life, can't never make how we view subjective matters alike.  Unlike  in the mathematical truth for things.  The consciousness of the mind is a trickery one.  We are often trapped in mass consciousness without owning an understanding that one's life is being directly controlled by his own perception that regulates and guides the evolution.  With all the presence of illusory appearances to all thought processes which give rise to doubts, and limited sense perceptions, the ultimate reality can only lead to misery and discontent.

Somehow, I always believe that the only mindful quality that we need to have within us is our will.  When I have a will, it provides the foundation to shape my mind to drive towards something - the goal.  Some may say it is about setting a goal that having it gives a focus to drive our journey to where we hope to achieve.  In our will, we must have the desire to want it.  Next, we just have to make a conscious decision to be responsible for all of the actions as well as the outcomes of that actions.

Even if we are to believe in any karmic laws, a will is about re-setting a samsaric life cycle back to a new lease.  We are to create experiences, and connections, to provide opportunities to develop new qualities and characteristics.  We just need to acknowledge the part of us that has those emotions and deal with it in our own appropriate way, by fully accepting the emotional self and choosing not to be held captive by these emotions.

Life should be easy and it is.  It is often our thought process that makes it a little complicated.  We allow our life to waste time over unwarranted speculations.  We often fail just to enjoy what life has to offer because we are not fully convinced of wanting that something.  Even when we think that we want that something, it is very common for us to take, probably, two steps back rather than to move with the flow [of opportunities].  We have been so conditioned to prioritize doubts, and involuntarily engaged a convincing skepticism, rather than soaking in faith with new events that are being presented.

I read a story about a group of friends that goes out to a mango plantation.  Their objective is set - that they want to go to enjoy to eat mangoes.  Arriving at the plantation, and instead to just eat them and enjoy, they wasted precious time counting the number and branches.  They paused in uncertainty of eating too much and how it could later harm their health.

Our circumstances often lead us to beat ourselves up.  We lack the determination when we arrive at the will.  When I was growing up, I could be easily contented just doing my things around the house.  Once, when my dad told me that I was grounded, I just wanted to go anywhere and everywhere.  His punishment opened a can of worms to all my anxieties, to all possibilities outside the house.

It reminds me of another incident.  Just last month, over the Lunar New Year celebration, a group of my friends gathered to have Yu Sheng.  Everyone gathered round the dish, each armed with a pair of chopsticks and began to toss the dish together.  The act symbolized abundance of wealth and long life and the higher the toss was to imply for good fortune.  While we were all doing that, a friend passed a remark to her daughter, "You are either in or out" to urge the little girl to participate in the ceremony.  Her intention was good.  It was about commitment.  It was about taking a stand.

The success in life is when we put our mind and soul in one commitment.  We can't never fulfill an objective effectively when there is half will.  My friend was right to pass that judgement.  Naturally, when we start from a standpoint of half-hearted interest, the result is often mediocre.  Abundance can only be achieved if we rid ourselves of the tendency to perform at a mediocre level in all areas of our lives.  Only when we push ourselves, and give the best, that we can appreciate our achievements and enjoy the benefits they bring.

It is said that a will is the driving force for love.  Love is such a strong motivation to cause for a reason, for our heart to be open.  When we have the heart, we will be able to just do it.  The truth is, when our heart is not in it, in anything that we need or want to do, we just won't be able to do it.  It does not matter the amount of reasons we may have that are valid and necessary.

Simply, when there is no love, there is no will. 

When there is love, nothing is too much trouble and there is always time.  The intensity in the statement truly dissipates the torment of any hardship.  It brings forth proximity to everything about life that is splendidly invigorating   To experience that, and to go through life, it just makes anything to be possible.  Until we can internalize, and fully comprehend, the true meaning of this statement that our human weaknesses and societal conflicts simply slide off and could not drown us.

Granted that the intensity of the statement may come and go.  That, our human weaknesses and societal conflicts may blind and distract us but how could it be any other way, when the only way we can appreciate life at its best is experiencing the lack thereof.  In the immortal words from Martin Luther King Jr, "darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love and do that'.

I feel the pains of Sam and Jana.  Of fear crimping into their uncertain future.  Of what hope could lay, for them, a better life ahead.  These two lovely souls, who are just another victim of circumstances, deserve far better things.  There should not be a limit to how much they can have.

What's left to say, as you had asked me to do, Jana is just to pray for all things well.

And the same prayer goes to you, Sam.

Walking On Thin Line

At the time of this writing, at the time when there are just so much thoughts drum in my head and so many mixed emotions surfacing, the phrase 'But talk comes so easy when life's at its best' [from the song God Of The Mountain By Lynda Randle] echoes tumultuously into my conscience.  I am allowing the inclination to take place, allowing the drift, for I am not sure where this writing is going to take me.  I know this concept may seem a bit weird.  What holds in my mind to write and encourage two friends, who are facing with some difficulties in their lives now, I am stuck in my own personal emotional conflict.

Perhaps, the song that is being played in my mind has such a strong positive influence.  It refrains me from commenting anything negative.  I am having such a strange heart palpitations.  I am finding it hard to say what is in my heart.  It is hard to be writing about the harsh reality of trials and temptations we face in life.  All that I know, this writing wraps itself with an emotional turmoil in which the entire universe shines.  That which, by itself, shines everywhere the sparkling light of prayers and empathy.

My tears flow at where you both are, my dear ones.  My steps are, probably, as shaken as yours.  For the two of you - Sam and Jana, you are in my prayers.

The phrase from the song challenges my conviction to life.  I wonder will I be reacting differently when life is not at its best?  Will talk come just as easy?  How would I react should I be at the far end of doubts?  Should I be in your situation now, should we swap places, and that each one of you comes to shine the sparkling light to me, would the talk come easy?

It is not about where I am today.  Nor it is about a regained act freeing the self from my mundane portrayal of my ordinary life.  I have always been a thinker rather than a fighter.  I have been taught that faith would always win over strength.  I often feel, though it can fail at times, that it is always good to be a thinker as it has served me well.  Perhaps, the reason why it paves the way for my mind to be hearing those phrase is to transcend time and space and, thereby, merging into consciousness.

There is always an ultimate unity of word and meaning.  Consciousness leads to awareness only when we can master our thinking to master our life.  Words are charged with energy and it is just a matter of understanding what we put in to determine what comes out.  Napoleon Hill, in his book 'Think and Grow Rich' said, "whatever the mind can conceive and believe; the mind can achieve".

Since the beginning of this year, I have been having fleeting glimpse of emotions that is primarily outside my being.  I am not able to offer a more refined and complete account of this emotional experience but, somehow, it entails an unstructured and unfiltered awareness of the true nature of reality.  These emotions and feelings are usually evoked by someone or by accompanying situations.

Earlier this year, I shared with some friends of an uncontrolled and non-related sorrow inside me.  It affected me in some strange ways.  Flashes of disasters, of great pains, of sorrows, of a big earthquake - all that is beyond me, all that is outside me, taunted in my head. 

My mind is like a humming beehive assailed by a multitude of diverse thoughts.  It is buzzing and repeating, over and over again, resounding the cries for an absolute truth to life.  No, it is not about universal truth for the existence of God but for a true reality to comfort the period of uncertainties in everyone's life.  For those, facing an issue or in between a multiple precarious life solutions, to hold a view to believe that everything is relative to something else - for deciding an action that is positive or negative, right or wrong - measure up to determine a safe and secured sustainability.

Everything, is said, to happen for a [good] reason.  But, what might be 'right' for me does not mean it is 'right' for you.  What on the surface that this relativism seems to be appealing, everybody sets his own rules to live by and does what he thinks is right.  Inevitably, a person's sense of right will soon clash with another.  Perhaps, it is because we have different set of goals in life, changeable at any given point in time.  Our basic needs and need levels are never constant.  This is exactly why sociology and psychology have always been such a hard topic.  We react differently to various situations, to different things.  Even to the very same situation, there are different reactions. 

We are all brought up differently with vast arrays of colourful past experiences.  Our thought patterns, coupled with personal principles of life, can't never make how we view subjective matters alike.  Unlike  in the mathematical truth for things.  The consciousness of the mind is a trickery one.  We are often trapped in mass consciousness without owning an understanding that one's life is being directly controlled by his own perception that regulates and guides the evolution.  With all the presence of illusory appearances to all thought processes which give rise to doubts, and limited sense perceptions, the ultimate reality can only lead to misery and discontent.

Somehow, I always believe that the only mindful quality that we need to have within us is our will.  When I have a will, it provides the foundation to shape my mind to drive towards something - the goal.  Some may say it is about setting a goal that having it gives a focus to drive our journey to where we hope to achieve.  In our will, we must have the desire to want it.  Next, we just have to make a conscious decision to be responsible for all of the actions as well as the outcomes of that actions.

Even if we are to believe in any karmic laws, a will is about re-setting a samsaric life cycle back to a new lease.  We are to create experiences, and connections, to provide opportunities to develop new qualities and characteristics.  We just need to acknowledge the part of us that has those emotions and deal with it in our own appropriate way, by fully accepting the emotional self and choosing not to be held captive by these emotions.

Life should be easy and it is.  It is often our thought process that makes it a little complicated.  We allow our life to waste time over unwarranted speculations.  We often fail just to enjoy what life has to offer because we are not fully convinced of wanting that something.  Even when we think that we want that something, it is very common for us to take, probably, two steps back rather than to move with the flow [of opportunities].  We have been so conditioned to prioritize doubts, and involuntarily engaged a convincing skepticism, rather than soaking in faith with new events that are being presented.

I read a story about a group of friends that goes out to a mango plantation.  Their objective is set - that they want to go to enjoy to eat mangoes.  Arriving at the plantation, and instead to just eat them and enjoy, they wasted precious time counting the number and branches.  They paused in uncertainty of eating too much and how it could later harm their health.

Our circumstances often lead us to beat ourselves up.  We lack the determination when we arrive at the will.  When I was growing up, I could be easily contented just doing my things around the house.  Once, when my dad told me that I was grounded, I just wanted to go anywhere and everywhere.  His punishment opened a can of worms to all my anxieties, to all possibilities outside the house.

It reminds me of another incident.  Just last month, over the Lunar New Year celebration, a group of my friends gathered to have Yu Sheng.  Everyone gathered round the dish, each armed with a pair of chopsticks and began to toss the dish together.  The act symbolized abundance of wealth and long life and the higher the toss was to imply for good fortune.  While we were all doing that, a friend passed a remark to her daughter, "You are either in or out" to urge the little girl to participate in the ceremony.  Her intention was good.  It was about commitment.  It was about taking a stand.

The success in life is when we put our mind and soul in one commitment.  We can't never fulfill an objective effectively when there is half will.  My friend was right to pass that judgement.  Naturally, when we start from a standpoint of half-hearted interest, the result is often mediocre.  Abundance can only be achieved if we rid ourselves of the tendency to perform at a mediocre level in all areas of our lives.  Only when we push ourselves, and give the best, that we can appreciate our achievements and enjoy the benefits they bring.

It is said that a will is the driving force for love.  Love is such a strong motivation to cause for a reason, for our heart to be open.  When we have the heart, we will be able to just do it.  The truth is, when our heart is not in it, in anything that we need or want to do, we just won't be able to do it.  It does not matter the amount of reasons we may have that are valid and necessary.

Simply, when there is no love, there is no will. 

When there is love, nothing is too much trouble and there is always time.  The intensity in the statement truly dissipates the torment of any hardship.  It brings forth proximity to everything about life that is splendidly invigorating   To experience that, and to go through life, it just makes anything to be possible.  Until we can internalize, and fully comprehend, the true meaning of this statement that our human weaknesses and societal conflicts simply slide off and could not drown us.

Granted that the intensity of the statement may come and go.  That, our human weaknesses and societal conflicts may blind and distract us but how could it be any other way, when the only way we can appreciate life at its best is experiencing the lack thereof.  In the immortal words from Martin Luther King Jr, "darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love and do that'.

I feel the pains of Sam and Jana.  Of fear crimping into their uncertain future.  Of what hope could lay, for them, a better life ahead.  These two lovely souls, who are just another victim of circumstances, deserve far better things.  There should not be a limit to how much they can have.

What's left to say, as you had asked me to do, Jana is just to pray for all things well.

And the same prayer goes to you, Sam.

My Life - A Lived Life

Once, in a conversation with a friend, I reminded him that death is not an if.  It is not 'if he/she dies' or 'if he/she goes away'.  Death is not a choice.  It is not about assuming a case or proving on a condition.  It is a part of our life and it is just another human event, although it is the last of a human event on earth.  Death is an integral part of every moment of life and it is about when it can happen.  About when it will come to strike us.  About when it can just take place, anytime and anywhere, to end our physical body.  Death is no respecter of persons.  It comes to all, not just the elderly but young healthy adults and children as well.  It can never be the case of 'If'.

While the word is a taboo to many and no one, generally, likes to think about it, death is inevitable.  We tend to avoid the topic for whatever personal reasons.  No one wants to be hurt and saddened nor would want to invite such a depressing thought to bring to an early suffering.  No one wants to feel the pain of separation, loss, vulnerability or emptiness.  Ironically, to live is to prepare for death.  Each and everyone of us must go through it, both directly and vicariously.

Death is a separation that is permanent.  It is permanent since we no longer can see, touch or talk to the loved one that is no longer living.  Yes, we would probably continue 'to talk' to make a connection but the deceased cannot respond back in the traditional sense.  It is this feeling that often will make us feel that a big part within us, as though a living piece, is missing.  It is only to show that communication is ever so important in any relationship.  Often, at that instant, we feel remorse for not able to control an outcome of a situation that we did not take responsibility of it.

Many of us dread the process of dying more than death itself.  It is understandably so because, often, it involves much pain.  Death should not be a cause of preoccupation and fear.  There is, indeed, a divine purpose to all life.  We should not harbour on thoughts that we will leave this earth with unfinished business of many kinds.  Of not discovering more of our latent possibilities.  Of not resolving relationship.  Our task is to minimize all the weighty chains of guilt and to learn [by way of acknowledgement] past mistakes and to heal ourselves with forgiveness.  Death is a process for complete surrender while we are alive.

We should, and be prepared to, accept death.  We should embrace the dying process.  We should, constantly, be the self conscious beings to be responsible for what happens to us in death as in life.  The life of every man is a diary in which we write one story after another.  This involves the responsibility of living up to our considerable potential with a heart capable of feeling deeply.  And, with a mind that can engage in profound contemplation on the vast mysteries of life and a soul able to encompass all beings in its concern.

I have always accepted death as a part of life.  But the only thing that I have not gotten myself prepared, and not be ready, is talking about my own death.  Strange as it is, since dying is not a new subject at all.  It is one of the oldest subjects known to humanity and certainly the greatest mystery of our existence.  It is a topic familiar to almost every person though we seldom speak openly about it.

In my family, I lost my parents and my eldest sister but that, somehow, did not affect me in the way the loss of Ruby did.  The death of my parents was something I had expected.  Their health was such that the end was obvious.  In some ways, it was a blessing that they no longer had to suffer in their failing physical bodies.

My eldest sister, on the other hand, was a courageous woman who had an unusually painful form of cancer and faced her sufferings for a good three years philosophically without complaints.  She was prepared to drink to the last drop what the cup of life had in store for her.  I witnessed such a fine attitude in her strength.  In her acceptance rather than tried to escape it.  She fulfilled her destiny, making her inner conquests and, unconsciously, helping others.

After the death of Ruby, I have become very much aware of death.  How, then, should I prepare for my turn.  My time.  Not about what life is at the other side but it makes me to sit up and to take notice on the quality of life that I am experiencing and making myself available with others around me.  About making the difference.  About leaving a legacy of love that matters.  About leaving behind something about me that will minimize the pains and griefs of my loved ones.  Grief can be an awful emotion resulted from an abrupt and/or unexpected severing of attachment.

Ruby's demise opens up a new meaning about separation.  About death.  It explores my consciousness into the seed of loving and ahead to the fruit it shall bear.  It reminds me to see the beauty in life and in the world we live in.  Who believe in me, no matter what.  Who is a great soul for me, an inspiring companion, who passed on a wonder and a love of some aspect of being alive.

Her death makes me to find actions and words which would say it all.  Off a complete feeling which would make what I felt and what I wanted for all the loved ones left behind seem memorable and majestic.  I learned that after my mum passed on.  It was a void feeling for not doing what I wanted to do for her.  With Ruby, I learned about grief for being left behind not fully comprehensible of my own worth.

I know of someone who would go into a frantic emotion at the thought of the death of his partner.  He would be filled with remorse and blaming himself for his past mistakes to self inflict with more pain.  I learn, through him, to accept the world as imperfect.  That all our own actions can bring on suffering.  Regardless of how much we may love someone, care for them, and attend to their needs, we will still lose that person.  Who has not said something that stung another, done something that made us cringe, or chose inaction in a case where action would have made a world of difference?

It is true that no one can get through life without making mistakes.  I need to face for my time.  It is important for me, having this chance of life, to be a good person.  It is important for me to help another person to find his/her true self.  These are two virtues that I want to leave behind.  These are virtues that I should devote while I am alive and, at the same time, prepare for death.  Afterall, that is what death is about.  It happens so that we can value life.  It is the chance to believe that life, and death, is not meant to be a burden.  I would want to die without procrastination.  Rather, I should make preparations so that when I am gone, I would leave my loved ones with no regrets.  For having me.  For knowing me.  For been a part together.

I need to be involved with my loved ones so that when I am gone, there will be a feeling of satisfaction for them to have walked life with me.  There will be an easy reconciliation and coming to terms with, and for, their conscience.  There will be a sense of loving kindness to ease the transition that they had once made me a trusted person, brother, companion, friend and a good soul.  And that, they have made my life complete.  That they had never failed my expectations. There will be an opportunity for them to continue to live freely, enjoying the twists and turns life offer.  That, our relationship to life together has had meaning.

I must be aware to raise love and comfort and use the present to prepare for the future.  I need to honour all that I had promised and not to leave behind unresolved hopes.  I need to be the doer and the maker; the alchemist of love.  And, constantly, reminding them about my love - not with words but with actions.  I need not to leave them with shadow of doubt of my love.  Of my pride and joy being part of them.  I need them to know how I have had treasured all and that I had accomplished the quality of life together.  As it is, it is often sad to leave a life with unfulfilled memories.  We all know it is painful for the receiving parties, the survivors.  I believe, no one should and would want to spend eternity haunted by such bitterness unresolved.  It will be good, and I need to keep reminding myself, that I must depart on good terms.

I need to make peace with members of my family.  I need to make peace with my loved ones.  I need to make peace with my friends.  I need to make peace with every soul that I had crossed path with.  It is also important that I make peace with myself.  This act will only allow to ease the burden of guilt, anger or bitterness.  It is the only way to make my passing on easier for each one of them.  The most important thing is for them to live a life without shadows of doubt.

I must live a true life.  I was born of love, so I must live by traveling the path of love.  The success or failure of my live depends on how much love I am able to pack into all these years of life that is being given to me.  I should live my life with an attitude of devotion and diligence that my life is not only about myself but for others too.  I must constantly be reminded to live a life of love.  That love is the only thing that remains when I am gone. 

When the time has finally arrived for me, I want them to have a smile on their faces.  I want them to have only the good memories of a joyful shared life together and there is no regret.  That our lives together had been, for each other, a road of a doer and a maker.  In the end, it is all about the legacy of love given and received.  That love has made us fuller, richer, wider and deeper.  What lights us up never truly abandons us.  Inwardly, we are never separated from those we love.   And nothing else matters.

My Life - A Lived Life

Once, in a conversation with a friend, I reminded him that death is not an if.  It is not 'if he/she dies' or 'if he/she goes away'.  Death is not a choice.  It is not about assuming a case or proving on a condition.  It is a part of our life and it is just another human event, although it is the last of a human event on earth.  Death is an integral part of every moment of life and it is about when it can happen.  About when it will come to strike us.  About when it can just take place, anytime and anywhere, to end our physical body.  Death is no respecter of persons.  It comes to all, not just the elderly but young healthy adults and children as well.  It can never be the case of 'If'.

While the word is a taboo to many and no one, generally, likes to think about it, death is inevitable.  We tend to avoid the topic for whatever personal reasons.  No one wants to be hurt and saddened nor would want to invite such a depressing thought to bring to an early suffering.  No one wants to feel the pain of separation, loss, vulnerability or emptiness.  Ironically, to live is to prepare for death.  Each and everyone of us must go through it, both directly and vicariously.

Death is a separation that is permanent.  It is permanent since we no longer can see, touch or talk to the loved one that is no longer living.  Yes, we would probably continue 'to talk' to make a connection but the deceased cannot respond back in the traditional sense.  It is this feeling that often will make us feel that a big part within us, as though a living piece, is missing.  It is only to show that communication is ever so important in any relationship.  Often, at that instant, we feel remorse for not able to control an outcome of a situation that we did not take responsibility of it.

Many of us dread the process of dying more than death itself.  It is understandably so because, often, it involves much pain.  Death should not be a cause of preoccupation and fear.  There is, indeed, a divine purpose to all life.  We should not harbour on thoughts that we will leave this earth with unfinished business of many kinds.  Of not discovering more of our latent possibilities.  Of not resolving relationship.  Our task is to minimize all the weighty chains of guilt and to learn [by way of acknowledgement] past mistakes and to heal ourselves with forgiveness.  Death is a process for complete surrender while we are alive.

We should, and be prepared to, accept death.  We should embrace the dying process.  We should, constantly, be the self conscious beings to be responsible for what happens to us in death as in life.  The life of every man is a diary in which we write one story after another.  This involves the responsibility of living up to our considerable potential with a heart capable of feeling deeply.  And, with a mind that can engage in profound contemplation on the vast mysteries of life and a soul able to encompass all beings in its concern.

I have always accepted death as a part of life.  But the only thing that I have not gotten myself prepared, and not be ready, is talking about my own death.  Strange as it is, since dying is not a new subject at all.  It is one of the oldest subjects known to humanity and certainly the greatest mystery of our existence.  It is a topic familiar to almost every person though we seldom speak openly about it.

In my family, I lost my parents and my eldest sister but that, somehow, did not affect me in the way the loss of Ruby did.  The death of my parents was something I had expected.  Their health was such that the end was obvious.  In some ways, it was a blessing that they no longer had to suffer in their failing physical bodies.

My eldest sister, on the other hand, was a courageous woman who had an unusually painful form of cancer and faced her sufferings for a good three years philosophically without complaints.  She was prepared to drink to the last drop what the cup of life had in store for her.  I witnessed such a fine attitude in her strength.  In her acceptance rather than tried to escape it.  She fulfilled her destiny, making her inner conquests and, unconsciously, helping others.

After the death of Ruby, I have become very much aware of death.  How, then, should I prepare for my turn.  My time.  Not about what life is at the other side but it makes me to sit up and to take notice on the quality of life that I am experiencing and making myself available with others around me.  About making the difference.  About leaving a legacy of love that matters.  About leaving behind something about me that will minimize the pains and griefs of my loved ones.  Grief can be an awful emotion resulted from an abrupt and/or unexpected severing of attachment.

Ruby's demise opens up a new meaning about separation.  About death.  It explores my consciousness into the seed of loving and ahead to the fruit it shall bear.  It reminds me to see the beauty in life and in the world we live in.  Who believe in me, no matter what.  Who is a great soul for me, an inspiring companion, who passed on a wonder and a love of some aspect of being alive.

Her death makes me to find actions and words which would say it all.  Off a complete feeling which would make what I felt and what I wanted for all the loved ones left behind seem memorable and majestic.  I learned that after my mum passed on.  It was a void feeling for not doing what I wanted to do for her.  With Ruby, I learned about grief for being left behind not fully comprehensible of my own worth.

I know of someone who would go into a frantic emotion at the thought of the death of his partner.  He would be filled with remorse and blaming himself for his past mistakes to self inflict with more pain.  I learn, through him, to accept the world as imperfect.  That all our own actions can bring on suffering.  Regardless of how much we may love someone, care for them, and attend to their needs, we will still lose that person.  Who has not said something that stung another, done something that made us cringe, or chose inaction in a case where action would have made a world of difference?

It is true that no one can get through life without making mistakes.  I need to face for my time.  It is important for me, having this chance of life, to be a good person.  It is important for me to help another person to find his/her true self.  These are two virtues that I want to leave behind.  These are virtues that I should devote while I am alive and, at the same time, prepare for death.  Afterall, that is what death is about.  It happens so that we can value life.  It is the chance to believe that life, and death, is not meant to be a burden.  I would want to die without procrastination.  Rather, I should make preparations so that when I am gone, I would leave my loved ones with no regrets.  For having me.  For knowing me.  For been a part together.

I need to be involved with my loved ones so that when I am gone, there will be a feeling of satisfaction for them to have walked life with me.  There will be an easy reconciliation and coming to terms with, and for, their conscience.  There will be a sense of loving kindness to ease the transition that they had once made me a trusted person, brother, companion, friend and a good soul.  And that, they have made my life complete.  That they had never failed my expectations. There will be an opportunity for them to continue to live freely, enjoying the twists and turns life offer.  That, our relationship to life together has had meaning.

I must be aware to raise love and comfort and use the present to prepare for the future.  I need to honour all that I had promised and not to leave behind unresolved hopes.  I need to be the doer and the maker; the alchemist of love.  And, constantly, reminding them about my love - not with words but with actions.  I need not to leave them with shadow of doubt of my love.  Of my pride and joy being part of them.  I need them to know how I have had treasured all and that I had accomplished the quality of life together.  As it is, it is often sad to leave a life with unfulfilled memories.  We all know it is painful for the receiving parties, the survivors.  I believe, no one should and would want to spend eternity haunted by such bitterness unresolved.  It will be good, and I need to keep reminding myself, that I must depart on good terms.

I need to make peace with members of my family.  I need to make peace with my loved ones.  I need to make peace with my friends.  I need to make peace with every soul that I had crossed path with.  It is also important that I make peace with myself.  This act will only allow to ease the burden of guilt, anger or bitterness.  It is the only way to make my passing on easier for each one of them.  The most important thing is for them to live a life without shadows of doubt.

I must live a true life.  I was born of love, so I must live by traveling the path of love.  The success or failure of my live depends on how much love I am able to pack into all these years of life that is being given to me.  I should live my life with an attitude of devotion and diligence that my life is not only about myself but for others too.  I must constantly be reminded to live a life of love.  That love is the only thing that remains when I am gone. 

When the time has finally arrived for me, I want them to have a smile on their faces.  I want them to have only the good memories of a joyful shared life together and there is no regret.  That our lives together had been, for each other, a road of a doer and a maker.  In the end, it is all about the legacy of love given and received.  That love has made us fuller, richer, wider and deeper.  What lights us up never truly abandons us.  Inwardly, we are never separated from those we love.   And nothing else matters.